How do you like your traffic? With jams in!

A Carnoustie man has come up with a lighthearted and innovative answer to the town’s parking problems by immortalising them in song

Howard Evans, with a little vocal support from the Aboukir Grumpies, has tackled the problem of parking in the ‘Carnoustie Traffic Song’ which you can now watch on our website at www.guideandgazette.co.uk.

A retired civil servant, Howard explained Carnoustie is not the only place where people can be a bit free-and-easy with parking, as he originally wrote the song about Bermuda while working there in 1972, but recently felt that the idea could be adapted for our town.

He said: “Bermuda is a very community-minded place, which is like Carnoustie. A’body kens a’body, it wasn’t unusual to see people driving around beeping to each other, people did stop and talk to each other.”

In Bermuda the song was very popular with local and visiting acts covering the song and has received quite a bit of airplay, even to this day.

Howard continued: “We were back in Bermuda this time last year and I was invited as a special guest to a ‘hootie’ folk night and everybody knew the song.

“Who knows, maybe one day we’ll hear it on Radio Tay. If it helps the parking in Carnoustie, that would be great!”

The song is sung to the tune of Irish folk song ‘Rising of the Moon’.

I drove down Carnoustie High Street at the hour of five o’clock,

When the fellow right in front of me decides to make a stop,

He leaves his car abandoned and he walks into a store,

While the traffic jam behind him stretches right down to the shore.

Chorus:

But remember this is Carnoustie, and you park just anywhere

Have conversation with your neighbours, and you needn’t have a care

If the line is painted yellow, then to park your car’s all right

If you’re fed up with the left side, then start driving on the right.

On his way he meets a friend, says “Foo’s ye daen bye?”

Greets him like a long lost brother, smiles at him with joy

From the opposite direction comes another and at that,

He parks his car across the road, and joins in with the chat.

Well they came from all directions, from every part of town,

And everyone was wondering why things were slowing down

From Monifieth to East Haven, everything stood still

And the cops on traffic duty, were transferred to Barry Mill.

Then the fellow in the car in front hears on the radio

That all the traffic’s jamming up, so he says “I must go,

“I told my wife that I would try to get get home just on time

“But we’ll meet again, in the morning rush, tomorrow - here at nine!”

The council held an inquiry, just to try to sort things out

And everyone was arguing, just as to who’s at fault

Some blamed Lib Dems and Labour, who blamed the SNP

And they blamed all the Tories, who blamed the Refugees.